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I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand
Just the other day I sent the girlfriend a huge pile of snow...I rang her up and said: "Did you get my drift?"
I haven't had any experience with UFO's, but paranormal life seems to be all around me...I grew up on the lower east side of New York.
Congratulations to Wayne Rooney. He scored three times on Tuesday. He hasn't done that since he crashed a pensioners' bingo night.
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Humorus Quotes 1
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
