Sleepless nights

ahsil

,United States

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Most people take sleep for granted. i on the other hand wish i had the abilty to just lay down and go to sleep. i am jealous of those people that say 'i'm tried im going to bed' i can be tired for hours and stay up for 24 hours. i have had this problem since i was 16. mom took me to a doctor and he said that i was just doing to much in school and just needed to slow down. i was staying up due to stress. when i was 18 they put me on anti depressents. 19 ambien. 20 lunesta, 21 ambien CR. only problem is those give you short term memory loss. well, cant take those. so now im 22 and i still have sleeping issues. i am taking this OTC stuff and i only helps you stay alseep. it doesnt help you go to sleep. and thats all i need. once i get to sleep i have no issues staying that way. but i hate it because once it gets to a certian time at night i start doing the math on how much sleep im gonna get because of what time i need to wake up. then i cant sleep becuase im afaid im going to oversleep. so every night i dont know if im gonna get the sleep i need to function. i donno if im going to be rested the next day. i donno if im going to be late the next day. i never know how i am going to feel. but i am just so tired of this being an issue. my family thinks its all in my head. or because i sleep with the tv on. but i cant sleep without noise. if i lay in a dark room with no noise my mind starts playing tricks on me. and then i get scared and then i cant sleep because of that. sadly the only time i can sleep and even then its iffy. is if i am sleeping next to someone. or if i am pass out drunk or high. and even then its because of the substances in my body. i just wanna sleep. im not asking for much. cant somehelp help? me ............