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- - Thoughts - - I was talking to Mom and Bambie tonight about our fucked up family. and we got to talking about the Noland side. Talking about how i don't know alot about them. About how i have a grandmother that i know nothing about becuase she died when my dad was young. And my Grandpa new wife didn't want any of us to know that she wasn't the "real thing." I say all of this because i found out that she wasn't my birth grandma when i was 12. and he son had no idea that his 4 brothers where his half brothers. which i know doesn't really mean anything but why hide it? So i grew up angry at her and the family because i have always thought that family is the most important thing. and if i couldnt trust them to tell me the truth how could i expect that out of anyone else i meet in life. I grew up with this one Aunt that didn't really fit any of the mold of that family. But i always thought she was my grandpa's sister. but i found out later that she was Roxanna's sister. My real grandma. and i seems like ever since i found that out she has been removed from me. i mean it's not like Roxannas death had tints of foul play. she died in the kitchen from a clot in her brain and my uncle Jeff found her. so why is it that the family wont talk about her. I have a right to know who she was. i have a right to know anything i want about her. i have the right to know if i act like her or look like her. I have the right to be able to go though pictures of her. to hear stories about her. she should be spoken about freely. to respect her not act like she never existed. Mom said she could get me in contact with Susan. I think i might call her. I have so many questions. And i think she is the only one that can answer them.
