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Silent Screaming, Endlless Yelling, Calling Out For Help; so quiet. Deafening Silence, Oh So Quiet, Sound and Time, Seemed To Have Stopped. Whispering Sobs, With Tears, But No Moans. It wasn't Really Self-Pity, She Just Didn't Want To Be Alone. Blind and Hurt, Light Yet Dark. Forever Wandering, Leaves Its Mark. Hard To Breath, Can't Ever Leave; Bound and Broken, By Chains Unseen.
Calling Out To Someone, Already Knowing That No One Will Come. What A Life, But She Had Promised, Not To End It WIth A Knife. Then One Day, He Came And Took Her Away. She Was So Amazed, She Almost Prayed. The Light Hurt Her Eyes. She Had Never Been To The Other Side. He Held Her Hand, Helped Her Stand, Helped Her See, Helped Her Be Free. So, Ya Wanna Know Something? This Girl, Here, This Girl Is Me.
Now I'm Here, Not Alone, Nothing To Fear, You Would Suppse. But There you're Wrong, And I'll Tell You Why. The Light Hurts, And Doesn't Like It When I Lie. It Hurts My Ears, And My Eyes, Sometimes Making Me Scream Inside. I'm Gready, And Selfish, And So Now I Want Both. The Dark And The Boy; I Don't Want To Make The Choice Believe It Or Not, What I Tell You Is True. I Miss The Dark, But I Don't Know What To Do.
I Love This Boy, Which Is Hard For Me To Do, But I Miss The Dark, Which May Be Hard To Believe In Your Point Of View I Miss the Dark, But I Don't Want To Be Alone. I Tried To Drag Him With Me. It Didn't Work Too Well. Once upon A Time, She Promised, Made A Vow To Herself, That She Would Never End Her Life With A Knife, No Matter How She Felt.
A Tempting Offer, It Was Many Times, To Bleed and Bleed, Until She Ran Dry. Instead She Told Herself To Get By, If She must, She Could Always Lie. She Promised Herself, She Would Not Die. She Told Herself She Would Be Heard, By Someone Who Cared The World About Her. So, Now He'd Come, And Now She Feared. What Had She Dome to Herself, Bringing Someone So Near? Her Barriers Were Down, As Well As Her Guard. She Was Emotionally Unstable, Everything Was So Hard!
She Let Secrets Of Herself Escape, Worries Fluttered Right On By, She Knew She shouldn't, But Was Tired Of Trying, And Oh So Tired, Tired Of Lying, To Cover Up Secrets, And Her Path Behind. One Day, This Boy Said, "I Love You" To Her. Three Simple Words, With All The Power In Her World. She Said Them Back, Because She They Were True, But She KNew Inside Herself, That She Still Had To Choose. This Boy Was Wonderful, And Different Than Any Other. He Was Special in many Ways, One Of Them Knowing How To Calm Her Thunder.
The Dark Was Inviting; The Thrill Was So High! Drinking In The Dark, Like Living In The Sky. She Had power Now She Knew. She Could Control Her LIfe, Whatever She May Choose. I Still Haven't Chosen, And It's Tearing Me Apart. I Can Fell The Burning And Breaking Of My Heart. I Visit Each One, Than Return To The Other, Like Coming Back On A Vacation, Early In Mid Summer.
I Find Comfort In Both, In Each A Sort Of Pleasure. They Both Make Me Happy, Both Different, Unique, And Wonderous. I return To Each Side, Looking At The Yays And Nays. But I'm Tired Of Looking, And It's Wearing Me Thin. I Won't Last Much Longer, And, Sooner Or Latter, The Hurt Will Begin, For One Side Or The Other. Once Upon A Time, I Made A Promise, A Vow To Myself, That I Would Never End My Life With A Knife, No Matter How I Felt. (I Have Too Much Pride and Dignity To Go That Way Anyhow.)
Someday I'll Choose, For Now I'll Deal With The Pain. I'm Happy Right Now. I'm On A Safe Spot In This Sick, Twisted Little Game. I'll Stay Here As Long As Possible- I Know That Won't Be Forever- But When I finally Have To Move My Peiece, Make My Choice, Maybe, Just Maybe, Everything Will Turn Out For The Better. (Even If I Break My Vow, And Only Leave A Letter, I Guarantee, It Would Be For The Better.)
These are my words. DON"T STEAL THEM!
Written Sunday, February 10, 20078
