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55 views | 2 likes | 0 reposts
All my thoughts
nothing will ever be the same i will forever be changed nothing can ever change me back to the way i was i am forever in a darkened hole of pain and suffering forever will i be screaming for help to which none comes for me no one will ever hear my crys of pain i will forever be left in the dark. basicly im saying to matter how much i cry or scream or shout no one listens to me and no one helps me im stuck in a forever darkened hole basicly im stuck in my soul ive changed and no one can help change me back. im a compleatly different person and i cant help but cry at night knowing that no one cares about me. and the only person that cares enough about me to wanna help me cant because they are too far away. Every morning i wake up terrified that im not going to make it through to the next day. and at night i go to sleep wondering will i ever wake up? i cry everyday because my life is a living he** and no one can ever change that.... thats what i thought my life would be misurable forever. because ui wake up and go to school and all day i have to deal with people teasing me and calling me names and beating on me. by the end of the day i go home crying nothing could make my life any more missurable then i already was..... but then i think of all the people who have died and all of the people that i loved and cared about that have left earth and i though maybe it would be best if i died. but you see after i met this person in my life i felt different... safe even and well he has made me relize that i have a life that IS worth living he makes me feel special and beautiful and different. i dont know what i would do without him. after i met him my life went spinning out of control and i fell safly in his arms. he has a firm and warm grasp on my heart and my life and at any moment he has the power to destroy it all. all he has to do is squeeze his hand and my life is over. and all he has to say are these words. "i hate you and never want to see you again i dont care if you die actually i will be happy if you did die." thats all he has to say to me and my life is over because you know someone has said that before to me and well it tore me apart but if he ever says it i will die. ever sicne i lays my eyes on him (will his username on glogster) i fell in love and i had the same nightmare over and over i have still that same nightmare of him not loving me anymore and it scares me. i always have this feeling in the bottem of my stomach and heart a painfull feeling that just tears at me and is killing me. and i wonder if he will stay loving me. i know that he has told me time and time again he loves me to death but i cant help0 but worry i still worry about what he will think about me when he sees me. i am slowly dieing inside. something eating away at my soul and i cant help but cry but no one hears me. and what i wonder and what i worry about and am scared to death of is will anyone notice or even care if i die? these are my true feelings and thoughts that i feel everyday and wonder about every day. i wrote this coming from the deepest part of my heart and thats just a small glimps into who i really am. i mean i cant trust anyone but only ONE person has started to teach me to trust. and i hope that he stays around for a LONG LONG time. i dont care what happens to me as long as he doesnt leave me. and THATS what i feel and think of everyday but really thats not even half of it i think of alot more and feel alot more things then what you just read. but really there are only two things keeping me alive right now and those two things are Tyler Bechle and the thought that everywhere in the world there are people who have it worse then me there are people out there who are starving and cold because they dont have homes or food or anything they have lost there familys dont know there familys are struggling everyday just to live. and thats hat keeps me alive everyday and makes me feel right. i mean just a little bit a day or just a little bit can help alot. just one person can make a difference. and thats what i want to see. i hope you like this glog and i hope that this makes a big imprint in your life and i really hope this makes you think about your life and what u go through because what you go through MIGHT not be as bad at what others have to go through.
jaiselb99 added this comment 2012-04-26 18:47:52-05:00
aww..
aquababy added this comment 2011-09-05 19:01:29-05:00
hehe thanks
sabinamiller added this comment 2011-10-20 10:29:56-05:00
love it
tylerbechle added this comment 2011-09-04 21:10:50-05:00
i LOVEEEEEE IT I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U TOO
aquababy added this comment 2011-10-27 19:32:18-05:00
thanks sabinamiller
jaiselb99 added this comment 2012-04-26 18:47:52-05:00
aww..
aquababy added this comment 2011-09-05 19:01:29-05:00
hehe thanks
sabinamiller added this comment 2011-10-20 10:29:56-05:00
love it
tylerbechle added this comment 2011-09-04 21:10:50-05:00
i LOVEEEEEE IT I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U TOO
aquababy added this comment 2011-10-27 19:32:18-05:00
thanks sabinamiller