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Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet...how come?A: He was bald. Q: You're a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?A: The same as yours, you're the bus driver. Q: David's father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?A: David Q: If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where's the white house?A: Washington DC Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?A: you don't bury survivors
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish."Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it."Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in thechair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, thistime killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling."What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark."I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how youcan still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.Nahh" said the bloke,"I'm just a really bad conductor"
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