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Happy days, sad days, i go outside and see children play. I go back inside and see a mirror on the wall. My mind is playing tricks on me im trying to find a way to be. Everything's spinning, I fell like I'm winning. Yet im still dying from things that keep attaking me, keep smaking me, until i cant get back up and i am dameged. I feel like a big lump, useless, yet there for people to kick and punch as they please. Im still here but invisible to people, invincible to harms, and enything that will hurt me. It seems i cant be here, i cant live. I know that some were deep down inside, I will find a place to hide, so I dont have to face the day anymore. I sit here writing, fighting my tears, trying to hold them in, but they're still trying to begin. Music in my ear, I have the fear of someone coming out and screaming, for no reason but me. did I do somthing wrong? PLEASE TELL ME, I NEED TO KNOW ! !
I came up with that poem on June 6, 2008 I just had moved her at the time my mom was in Tucson and i live withmy dad now. i didnt know anyone and i felt like an outsider and that no one liked me for me. and i was hurting myself but my dad mom and counciler covinsed me to stop. the thoughts in the poem are real and while i was wrighting i was thinking of my mom and my choice to come and stay with my dad. Copyright Alexis Buehler 2008
