FunnyStewieQuotes

bookwrm

,United Kingdom

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'Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb!'

'Well then, my goal becomes clear: The broccoli must die.'

[sarcastically] 'Oh, well, a thousand pardons for disrupting your flatware sanitation ritual, but you see I'm in searing pain!'

'How DARE you! That book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind- ooh, fuzzy! [the Teletubbies on TV giggle] God, the more I resist, the more intriguing they become! I can't look away!'

'I'm free! Free from the spell of those diabolical Teletubbies! [turns to Peter] Thank you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.'

'Oh my! Look where my hand is! I say, look where my hand is. It's in a very naughty place. [Brian puts the newspaper down and Stewie is shown with his finger up his nose] Does this not disgust you?'

'You know, Rupert, the word "gullible" is not in the dictionary. Oh, oh, you don't believe me? Here, look it up. [passes dictionary to Rupert, then snickers] What? What's that, it really isn't? [takes dictionary and studies it] Oh, Rupert, touch. Hoisted by my own petard! [laughs, then sighs] Oh, I am so alone.'

'Not now, Lois. Hey, big man, turn around. [smacks the back of the man's head with his open palm] If you've got something to say, say it to my face. [the guy looks annoyed and then goes back to reading his paper] Oh, you can't hear me now? All right, that's it, I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next five hours you're my bitch. [gets on his back and viciously kicks the back of the man's seat] Wah! Wah! My ears are popping and there's no way to console me! I'm hungry and possibly teething! Maybe I'm wet! Who knows? I'm a baby! Wah! Wah!'