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So yeah tommorow will be three years sence my mother has died. i never thought that something as tragic as loosing my role modle would ever happen when i was only just 12. I know for one i am not the most perfect person and i cant ever seem to make anyone happy expecially not myself but i just want people to know i am sorry and dont ever take anything for granit dont ever think or say i hate you to your parents because one day they can be gone forever. My mom died on February 17th 2007 at 9:00 pm on a saturday our house was full of people and she had cancer for 2 1/2 years i kept telling my self nothing would happen because we had made a promise to me th she would live and watch us grow up. She promised that she would go to the gocierie store with me when i got older and oush my children inn the cart. she promised so much stuff to me. and those last days she had on this earth i kept telling my self nothing would happen, then she finally came home and she was getting sicker her cancer was called leomiascarcoma she had a 30pounnd tumor then they took it out then 16 golf ball sized tumors grew back. but we had this one nurse come talk to us about if she was going to die and i remeber i was getting sooo mad about i just got up and ran out of the living room and started balling my eyes out and saying shes not going to die. no shes not no she cant we have dreams she wants to see us grow up. the next day everything got worse our whole house was crouded with crying and sad people everytime i left her room or left her side i had to say goodbye to her. then later that night i came out of my room and looked at my dad and brother and they were crying so i knew it was going to happen i looked at my dad and i said no when do they think shes going to die then they said "tonight" i looked at my dad then balled then me and my brother got into this HUDGE fight and my dad came in my room and grabbed me and just started crying which is really unusual for him so about 8:30 our living room was full i came out of my room and my dad came out of her room and said "shes gone." i looked around and i remeber feeling like a hudge bomb as dropped on me i had no clue what to do or think so i ran to my room and fell and my aunts came in my room crying and saw me and i was crying the most ive ever cried in my life. as the night went by some people finally came to get her and then i realized that i never really got to say goodbye or talk to her by myself. i remeber hearing here breathing and gasping for air and seeing her turn purple n loose the color in her face and i rember being there slowly watching her suffer and die slowly. so on february 21st (my sisters birthday) we had her funeral and i didnt cry at all i wanted to so bad but i couldnt. later on that night i guess my emotions got bottled up and i got really sick people dont know how hard it is for a teenager girl to loose her mom when she is going through certain stuff then when i hear "oh your mom died?'' when they already knew it it just breaks my heart more, Just dont ever tell anyone you hate them cause the next thing you know is they could be gone:( Mom i miss you more then anything in the world. i love you.:(
R. I. P Janice Lawhead
May she rest in heaven. John 14:2 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
lilmillie added this comment 2010-02-19 18:43:27-06:00
Aww! I know exactly how you feel!! I sorry!!
markat added this comment 2010-02-18 21:13:49-06:00
awwwwwww! REGAN! your mom was a wonderful person and we all miss her!!!!! If you need to talk...i'm ALWAYS here for you! I LOVE YOU GIRL!
lilmillie added this comment 2010-02-19 18:43:27-06:00
Aww! I know exactly how you feel!! I sorry!!
markat added this comment 2010-02-18 21:13:49-06:00
awwwwwww! REGAN! your mom was a wonderful person and we all miss her!!!!! If you need to talk...i'm ALWAYS here for you! I LOVE YOU GIRL!