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All this pain. i never ment to cause. sorry to the people i never understood until this point. i hope those who once were close to me can fogive me. it feels like i need, want this, Love this poisin running threw my veins that is helping feed the moster inside me. But really its all in my head. And this monster is thriving to get out and its scaring me. My shell is slowly cracking open faster and faster.
Its scaring me. leaving all the people that i loved behind. this poisin is making me angry, this poision is making me crazy. Its making me hurt the people i onced loved and i hope i still do. my body says no but the monster says Fuck it. These things i do to myself. You would think im trying to kill me self. But now i realize maybe this monster isnt trying to help me. This moster isnt trying to help me build my wall back up.
This MONSTER is trying to destroy me. And maybe im just letting it. Maybe i want it to.
