EverlastingPain

carissarawrxx

,United States

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Close my eyes I see him there, behind my eyelids is a everlasting nightmare. I open my eyes, but he is all I see. He is there when I'm awake. He is there when I'm asleep. It seems as if it happend not once, but over and over again. I can't believe it has been this long, and I still feel so much pain. I wonder to myself will I always feel so dirty? It dosen't matter on how many times I shower, he is still all over me... I smell his body close to mine, I still feel his hands upon my skin. I still hear my cries for help, and feel as if it was not his, but my sin. Why didn't he just kill me? I've already forgotten how to live anyway, I'm so sick of pretending that nothing happened to me. What is the use of being alive, when all your dreams are lost? What is the point of tryting at such a high darn cost? Holding my head high, gets more difficult by the hour. Keeping this secret makes me constantly want a shower. Why can't I forget? God, PLEASE take away my memory. I want a new start... I NEED to be freed! Now it seems he owns me, and no one should have to feel that way. I am NOT his woman. I am NOT his f@#*ing slave! If you have to go ahead and bury me. It is not as it matters, turns out I'm a waste of soul. A nobody...