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Take a breath, I pull myself together Just another step, until I reach the door, you'll never know the way, it tears me up inside to see you..I wish that I could tell you something. And take it all away Sometimes I wish I could save you. And there's so many things that I want you to know. I won't give up till it's over. If it takes you forever, I want you to know, when I hear your voice, it's drowning in the whispers you just skin and bones, nothing left to take and no matter what i do, i can't make you feel better. If only I could find the answer: to help me understand why. If you call, stumble down, i will pick you up. Tell me you won't give up, cause I will be waiting if you won't ya know, I'll be there for you. I love you too much to ignore that you've fallen. It kills me a trillion times to know that you don't care. But no matter how much you hurt me, I will still be here to pick you up again, and embrace the pain you'll do to me over and over again. When I look you in the eyes, all I see is the love I want, but I'm never gonna get. When I pass by you, that scent intoxicates my lungs and builds ecstacy throughout my veins while clogging my throat, and I want it to happen all over again. No matter how much it hurts to see myself going through it, I will do it again. Love is just another dangerous word to me.
My name is mine. My name belongs to other people, but what lies behind this name is something totally different. I'm proud to be who I am, and I will never doubt what I cannot change about myself. I am me.
I'm sorry for all the drastic change. I need that second chance, the one you haven't showed me yet. Because I will do my best to do better, and I'm ready to clean up the mess I've made along the way. I've thought about what I've done, I'm ready to fulfill who I want to be. I want to be far from what I am. I'm ready to fight the mirror. I'm sick of living the harder ways, I thought it'd be easy, you know, living? I've made my mistakes, and not like a lot of people, I've learned from them. I'm learning to heal, I'm learning to cope, I'm learning to never look back, even though it's fuckin' tempting to head back. I'm dying to live again.
There's a lot of people telling you a lot of things about me. And a lot of it is negative. And you know what, they DO have a reason to tell you these things because I DID have a past. And I was NOT a good person. But ever since I met you I changed. After I met you, I reasoned to close the door. I knew, I didn't want a friend like you to look into my eyes and picture me as this girl that troubled many people. I wanted you to look into my eyes and see a girl that is starting new, and will do anything to forget and forgive. I didn't turn back for a while, I've had my ways and I am done with them. I am done with the shit I've caused. I apologize for everything that I have done. Through all the shit I've caused and that I can't take back. I've played many games, and won none of them. I hope you'll have the time and space in your heart to forgive me & to know that I closed this door to let you know that I CAN be a good person. Accept me for who I am trying to be, and not what I've done in the past
chocobluesz added this comment 2008-12-20 15:14:11-06:00
AWWWW thats so cute!!!! i dont care even if its not suposed to be cute ... i mean cute like .... deep ....
chocobluesz added this comment 2008-12-20 15:14:11-06:00
AWWWW thats so cute!!!! i dont care even if its not suposed to be cute ... i mean cute like .... deep ....