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At the tender age of nine, my parents went on a trip to Europe. I guess my parents didn’t think I was ready, so they sent me to West Virginia to stay with my grandparents, Earl and Mary Lou. I was dropped off. The window was cold against my pale face as I watched that 1990 Toyota Previa drive away. I was almost heartbroken that my parents would leave me here, but I knew I had to make my time productive. As old Earl was cooking the fresh turkey he caught earlier that day over the open pit fire, I began brainstorming. What could I do to make this week go by fast? That is when it hit me; I would participate in full-contact origami. A few weeks earlier, I had a small lesson on how to create an Egyptian Sphinx with only a small piece of paper. As soon as Mary Lou fed us some turkey and squirrel, I headed inside to start my soon to become most accomplished hobby of my life. I didn’t sleep for three days. When I did sleep, I slept in a rocking chair. When I wasn’t participating in origami, I practiced my Godlike trombone playing. At times I noticed Mary Lou would be attracted to the sensuous noises I made with the horn, which was odd. But then I realized I was in West Virginia and I just had to deal with it. This nonsense went on for a while, but I soon had to lay down the law and tell her that it was wrong. Then I let of my steam by engaging in some more full-contact paper folding. After I mastered the art of origami, I was still bored. It was only Wednesday and I had until Saturday to be productive. I looked in the garage and found a hoe. That’s when I realized that I had to grow a garden. By Friday, I was the president of the weekly botany circles held by the local county. My squashes were displayed in the National Agricultural Museum. Friday night, I was once more bored. I began to think intensely. I fell into a deep trance in my mind. I slipped into the black hole in the center of my brain. I was falling, faster and faster, I was so fast that I was slow at the same time. After an hour of battling the centrifugal force of the swirling vortex inside of my head, I was once again conscious. I discovered it. I finally found out the meaning of life, but I forgot to write it down. So I decided to go to sleep. I woke up the next morning and my parents picked me up. On Monday I had to go back to school. But I forgot to do my homework.
