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He called me last night To bring us to a new height. He came up to my house As quiet as a mouse. His voice was warm But his clothes were torn. He pushed me on the bed Got a book, and hit my head. I woke up with tears in my eyes Knowing that no one had heard my cries. He left a note. I'm sorry, I know you will never forgive me, And from this point on, you’ll never be happy. It’s happened before But now, it will no more. Honey, I love you I hope you already knew. Your pain is always mine And I hope that you’ll be fine. So, because I hurt you so much, I will be gone forever more, Forever will now be just enough. Don’t cry It’s not right. I’ll be all right. I didn’t pay any attention. I just threw it away, Throwing away my consumption In my dark, dark bay. I went to school that day Hoping my light didn’t fade. For him I looked around But he couldn’t be found. I heard rumors that he died; That he committed suicide. I prayed that wasn’t right, That he wouldn’t even fight. I stopped by at his home It happened so fast, I didn’t even know. His crying mother handed me a note. Mom, I made a mistake. It’s something I can’t take. I know you’ll cry many nights, But you must know I’ll be all right. My life’s never been far away And I will truly be okay. My life is finally done, So now I can have no more fun. Tell Amy I lover her so She won’t be scared of me to know. Tell Dad he made me this way And this is how he gets paid. Mom, I haven’t always been like this, In the past it was all such bliss. Now, this way, I’ll always be missed. Maybe not. Tell everyone I couldn’t live with this stuff And that my broken body has had enough. Goodbye, Mom. Please stay calm As you see my dead body on the floor Right by my room’s wooden door. I gave her back the note and began to walk; Walking with my eyes wide open like a hawk’s. I walked to his favorite park And I saw our permanent mark. CL & JS Forever clearly written on our tree. Somehow I know the person he loved was me. I lightly brushed the lines Hoping that he was truly mine. I let a lonely tear fall on my calm face And let the cold wind brush it away in its haste. The place I fell asleep Was by our favorite tree. I woke up by the cold And remembered what I wasn’t told. Somehow I found the will to leave the park On a desperate search of another of his marks. I'm trying to live with my now broken heart. I went to our special creek Where we once stayed for a week. I quickly walked to the theatre Where he met the best creator. I ran to the old man’s farm Where he felt his first alarm. I went to where we first met Right by the house of Mr. Meck’s. Every place I went, he wasn’t there, He left me and he didn’t care. He thought he hurt me, Why couldn’t he see? I went home that day And never looked away. I cried on my messed up bed last night Got out some paper, and scratched on the right. Hey, you know I love you guys, And you really don’t even have to try. But my love wanted to be dead After he laid on me in my bed. I cried and cried Though I never tried. But there’s something that no one’s seen, Something that no one has ever heard, But it’s the fact that the only person he loved was me. He was the very air I breathed And his breath I could only sheath. He was the heart in me that used to beat That would course through my veins in the heat. His smell was so invigoratingly splendorous It made me feel something so much more than something glorious. Well, I guess what I'm trying to say Is that his life is now so damn far away. I want him back, To keep me on track. I need his life, In my hard strife. Friends, don’t worry about me This was all a catastrophe. Parents, please don’t panic, This could just be a stupid trick. His pain was mine And I'm definitely not fine. I loved him more than life. He was my life. So now that he’s dead I’ll have nothing to dread. The marks on my wrist are real So this may just be a big deal. I'm dead and alone Now my death is finally prone.
