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Well, I've been hurt before... And this doesn't hurt as bad as it might seem. It doesn't hurt because the last time was worse. I fell for my best guy friend ever. And he knew it, but he didn't mind. We agreed, that would be awkward, so nah. But still. It burned me really deeply everytime I saw them together. But I'd play masquerade. I'd put on the smiley mask and pretend nothing hurt me. But the truth is, if you know me, then you know.... No matter how much I protest "No, I'm fine..." I'll never be fine. We think we'll be okay, but no. Every scar will remain, even if it's just light. But it's still there. But don't worry.... There are other fish in the sea... And someday, you'll meet your match.
Of course, I've thought a dozen times "He's so perfect for me..." Only to be left sitting by myself on the park bench looking at my reflection in a puddle of tears. My heart is going through reconstructive surgery, we're trying to put the pieces back together, but it's slow going. The bandaid wasn't enough this time. I need stitches. I'm in pain, the pain killers aren't working, I've built up a resistance now. It'll take more and more each time. PAin is like a drug... You become used to having it in your life, so then you seek it all the time...
This pain is different though. It's less severe, its more like a... a stab with a sharp knife. Even though the wound was quick and clean, the throb is still there for a while. What I don't get is.... WHY?
The stars lean down to kiss you And I lie awake and miss you Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly But I'll miss your arms around me I'd send a postcard to you, dear 'Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light-blue But it's not the same without you Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad 'Til I look at my hands and feel sad 'Cause the spaces between my fingers Are right where yours fit perfectly
'll find repose in new ways Though I haven't slept in two days 'Cause cold nostalgia Chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight I'll sit on the front porch all night Waist-deep in thought because When I think of you I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink I'll think of you tonight I'll think of you tonight
When violet eyes get brighter And heavy wings grow lighter I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew But I swear I won't forget you Oh, if my voice could reach Back through the past I'd whisper in your ear Oh darling, I wish you were here
"Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City
If I could look across the country From California to New Jersey Then I would count the parks and lake resorts And number all the jets and airports All those rather dreary rain clouds still bother me Cuz I look through the camera eyepiece and cannot see If I could open up my window And see from Tampa Bay to Juneau Then I would survey all those open miles And line them up in single file Everywhere I look I see green scenic sublime And all those oceanic vistas are so divine If I was standing on the balcony And you were walking down below I'd feel rather depressed and out of place And lonely just to watch you go If you were swinging from the highway overpass Within the western hemisphere I'd feel rather afraid and insincere If you began to disappear If I was walking through a sad art gallery And you were driving through the night I'd feel rather alone and I'll at ease Beneath the brilliant showroom light If I was flying on a plane above your town And you were gazing at the sky Somehow I'd feel intact and reassured If you began to wave goodbye
"Fuzzy Blue Lights" by Owl City
