30 thing to do when you know your going to fail the exams...

dragenruler

,South Africa

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8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. 26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" 27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. 20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 24. Masturbate.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.) 19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy). 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

EXAMS!

you're going to fail the

to do when you know

30 things

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out " Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. 9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative 7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the i nstructor is.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. 21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach 23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary