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We remained in a life that we were not familiar with, desperate to become included. Yet we oth learned that once you are living on the outside, it is better to remain in the torrents of mother nature, than the false emotions of humans. Because very once in a while, Mother Nature can actually make you feel warm.
With this discovery came the humble apologies of the ones who had discriminated against her.I believed this was what was meant for me. No one, even in my current family had accepted me, opening their arms full of love that i could be wrapped with. By protecting my family from such harms that had befallen me, I believed that I would be welcomed with the love I had always wanted. I was delusional, and such a plan backfired on me, leaving me without a man and without the lov of my three daughters. Morning Light had died alone, and so will I. We grew up in a place whre we fell included and loved, until our lives were ripped from underneth us, as a dry dusty rug.
My story has haunted me throughout my life and it has carried through my traditions pertaining to my family. I controlled them. I warped them. I mastered them. I protected them. My anger and sadness fused to one. I had become the classic widowed spinster, whose goal was to bring the world down with her. I had never felt more alone and helpless; until I came across the site Morning Lights Illuminates the Truth. With her story came a sence of conviction and understanding. Someone else felt like the outsider, spurned from the world around us because of our past and upbringings.
I finally found my identity; the person that I had once been, and was trying to become.I did not feel alone anymore, and this thought brought comfort to my growing pain. She had been thrown in a life where no one cared for her, she was just an object of distaste in the family, until she found her purpose; helping others.
