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State Mottos Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets) Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else Nevada: Whores and Poker! New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney Ohio: Where one of your dad's friends lives Tennessee: The Educashun State Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English) Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Children's Books You'll Never See "You Were an Accident" "You Are Different and That's Bad" "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer - Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" "Dad's New Wife Robert" "Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share" "Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book" "Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence" "That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption" "The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy" "Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way" "Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will" "Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games" "Your Nightmares Are Real" "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry" "Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff" "Strangers Have the Best Candy" "Some Kittens Can Fly!" "Where Would You Like to Be Buried?" "Grandpa Gets a Casket"
For More Laughs Click Here!
Actual Signs On a septic tank business: "We're #1 in the #2 business" At a photo studio: "Have your kids shot while you wait!" In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Vermont men's store: "25 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" In a New Jersey store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" On a fixit-shop: We can fix anything! (Please knock loudly, doorbell broken) On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable." On a roller coaster: "Watch your head." In Vancouver, British Columbia, on a folding sign in front of a small language school: "English Tootering" In the vestry of a Westminster church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak." On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament - Ears pierced" Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
If Men Got Pregnant Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay. There'd be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained. Men would be eager to talk about commitment. They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute. Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00pm. Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags. They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him". Paternity suits would be a line of clothes. They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree. Women would rule the world!
shadyscrazy added this comment 2008-01-02 08:45:29-06:00
hhaa love it
glogster added this comment 2008-01-02 06:49:52-06:00
LOL this was a great read thanks for putting it up. I love "children's books you'll never see" Priceless great job
shadyscrazy added this comment 2008-01-02 08:45:29-06:00
hhaa love it
glogster added this comment 2008-01-02 06:49:52-06:00
LOL this was a great read thanks for putting it up. I love "children's books you'll never see" Priceless great job