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i love her i really do it just hard for me
to think she could ever feel this way too.
she calls me crying and it tears me apart.
the things she tells me i could never tell. its not me
and if only she would belive. her friends lie and joke. tell things to others and blame them on me.
i really need her to see that its not me its them pulling us apart. her so called bestfriends my so called friends leaving me in the dust. she was the friend i fell in love with the one i couldn't tell. now death is taking hold and theres nothing left to say. so if your reading this dear friend its you. haylee that i fell in love with not thosee silly
girls that thought it was them. you
were the reason for the smile on my
face the reason for me to breath again.
for me to wake up each morning for me to date. because letting you go was the last thing i could do.
and its exactly what happened.
good bye my love.
my dear friend.
p.s. this is me trying to say goodbye.
without the pain. the pain will soon be over as soon as the last drop of blood reaches the ground.i jsut wish you could hear the tears and blood hit this hard wood floor. before i go just let me say next time you feel a breeze in your hair,a sudden reason to smile with no explanition,the next time your crying and the tears dry up that s me doing what i always loved to do.
he died last night right after our fight. afterr i told him i could no longer be his friend. it hurt me to bad . i wanted to be more than friends but the way he looked at me wasnt like he looked at those girls. wasn't how he treated them. i didn't want our friendship to turn in to that i couldn't loose my best friend. and him saying all that stuff it was hard to belive the girls about that but i mean. ive known them longer. they know how i feel.i just wish some how he would have told me. at least told me goodbye. all he said was that he couldn't promise he'd be okay without me in his life. that he just somehow wouldn't be the same. and i guess he was right. he isn't the same. but i cant go i just cant bring my self to go to his funeral.to pay my respects after all what do you say to someone you have always loved. of course not i love you that would cross the lines. friends are friends nothing more.. although im sure now he'll never know that when he held me close and whiped my tears oh dear.. when he rubbed his hand between my hair that stare i always seem to give..he'll never know it was silly hints telling him i loved him. that i wanted to be with him. well now it hurts to think he killed him self. and no one will tell me why they just look at me stare and shed tears its like theres something for me to fear.... oh dear.
someone tell me somthing?!?!?!
she belived the lies we told. the lies we planned so hard. at least now she cant be with him he needs to be with one us. we both are in dire need of that gentle touch she told us about. although we didn;t think this would happen we didn't think he killed himself. however she stilll doesnt know that it all was for her. oh how we feel so bad yet we cant even tell her why.its all our fault. the lies we told. oh what to do. oh well maybe after awhile she'll find out and not be so mad. damn we hope she will understand for now well keep our distance. then one day far in the future will let her know the truth.