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"...have you ever felt like you're sinking? Like you're being pulled down into this dark pit of depression and you really don't know why?" ~Amanda Hase October 22, 2011 When you can count the amount of people who make you laugh on one hand then you know you have enough friends to keep you sane. When you need a calculater to count your enamies you know you don't have enough friends to keep you happy. After you've been dragged down so many times doesn't life just seem like one big s*** hole? I feel like I'm stuck in this big puddle of nothing but darkness. Everytime I pull myself out, some one pushes me back in. I don't know why I feel this horrible. I don't know why I feel so alone in this miserable word. Maybe I am. Maybe no one really understands what it feels like to be stuck in such a dark place that it seems nearly impossible to see a light. Only two people ever make the puddle shallow. When they're gone I feel like I'm three feet deeperin it. I pray that one of them will never leave my side but he always does. I spend every night wishing that he'll text me out of the blue. Just one word would make me feel like the puddle is a little less deep. Is it bad that I've only known this person for a few months yet I feel so strongly for him? Is it horrible that I feel like I'm falling in love with a boy I barley know? The more I think about this the deeper my puddle gets. The more I cry over him the more worthless I feel. I want to move on and only be his friend; only care about him as a friend, but I can't allow him to leave my life. Should I really feel this strongly? I'm afraid I'll lose him. I don't depend on him, because I don't see him enough to depend on him. I'm afraid to lose him because he's the first person in a long time who has made me feel such strong emotions. The first person to always tell me the truth, even though the rest of the world is lying to me. He's the first person to ever make me feel like I can truley let myself trust again, but I can't because he'll hurt me. The more I question my feelings for him, the more I cry. The more I cry, the more I hurt. The more I hurt, the more I want to hurt myself. Will losing him make me stop or will it make my pain increase? I feel like I'm on a drug, but it's the drug that the doctor tells you that you'll die if you try to come off of it. Every day that I don't talk to him, I feel like I'm dying inside. Everyday I do talk to him I feel myself lift out of the puddle. I pray that he won't give up on me. I want his face to be the first thing I see when I'm out of this prison of darkness. I want him to be there like he says he will. I'm afriad he won't be. I feel alone in this puddle. I see him, and it's like seeing the sun. Can no one relate? I need to know what this addiction is...I need to escape from the darkeness one way, or another. ~Eragon
alprincenofl added this comment 2011-10-24 12:05:44-05:00
aw deep
gothgirl added this comment 2011-10-23 18:53:48-05:00
hmm this is deep and sad sweetie..but u donthave to know someone long to fall in love i do know that xx
alprincenofl added this comment 2011-10-24 12:05:44-05:00
aw deep
gothgirl added this comment 2011-10-23 18:53:48-05:00
hmm this is deep and sad sweetie..but u donthave to know someone long to fall in love i do know that xx