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funny things i find in fanfiction
these r things (mostly or all from bleach yaoi) that i think r funny i could care less if they entertain u (innocent smile)
Everything was silent for a while. That is, everything was normal until a certain thing caught the corner of my eye as we stopped at in intersection. Something white flash through my vision from the corner of my eye. I turned my head to see a tampon go flying into the open window of someone's care and hit the unsuspecting person in the head. My eyes widened and I twisted my body around to look at Koichi, who was sporting a face splitting smirk. "Free tampoons for all!" he shouted, throwing another tampon into th car of somebody else who was unlucky enough to have left their window down. I smacked my forehead and grumbled to myself. If I pretend he's not there, maybe he'll quit it. No such luck. Realizing that my tactic wasn't working, I again looked at the childish albino. "Why the hell are you throwing tampons in peoples' cars?" I screamed at him. "Oh, that's easy! There's girls in those cars, too!" he replied enthusiastically.
As he was about to crossd the street, he heard a soft 'mew' amd turned his head. He saw a small cat on the ground a few feet away, looking hungry, "Ah, hey little guy...or girl." He whispered. "You hungry or something?" The cat looked at him and, to his surprise, nodded. "Ok...uhh, c'mere." Ichigo went to pick it up when it back ed away and hissed slightly. "Ok then, your feral..." He scratched his head and sighed. As he turned around, he heard a soft hiss. "Where do you think you're going?" He froze and closed his eyes. Please say that wasn't the cat, please say that wasn't the cat... He thought, repeating it like a mantra. He turned around slowly and felt all the color leave his face. The 'cat' was now over seven feet tall, with a lions head, large eagle wings and three tails that looked like cobra's. It had long talons, so long they dug into the concrete, making small cracks and chips fly off. Ichigo took a slow step back as it stared him down. "I am hungry..." It spoke, it's mouth shwoing off rows of sharp teeth, dripping with saliva. "...and you are my prey!" Ichigo turned around and instantly began to run. Shit, it's not a cat! It's not a cat! Ichigo's mind now began to chant
\Renji has bright, red hair he always has up in a ponytail, making him look like a tomato/pineapple hybrid. He has a shitload of tattoos that cover his entire body...ok, it was a dare from Rukia. That's how I know ok? The ones we pick one are the ones above his eyebrows
."Ichigo apprehended me breaking and entering his place once, and he locked me up using several pairs of handcuffs. He told me that the reason he had them around was because one of his previous boyfriends was kinky and into it. I don't suppose you're that boyfriend, are you?" Grimmjow asked with a wide grin. No matter what he was expecting to get a big reaction from the man. His smile began to slip when Byakuya didn't seem to react at all. Finally Byakuya turned towards Grimmjow. "I suppose that means you haven't had the chance to find out that he really enjoys being tied up. He likes being restrained, and he loves being forced to beg." With that he left the room. Whatever Grimmjow had been expecting, it hadn't been that. Instead of pissing him off, which is what he imagined the black haired man was going for, it really...he could just see Ichigo underneath him, handcuffed to the bed with his hands above his head, a slight sheen of sweat across his chest. "Please, Grimmjow...Please..." "Like I need to fucking watch ya get turned on," Nnoitra said, shoving Grimmjow, breaking him out of his daydream. "It's just my gift to you," Grimmjow replied cockily. "So that you can bask in my magnificence." "Ya have always sucked at giving gifts."
'Well he obviously goes commando!' Shinji insisted, forgetting about his ice cream. 'He never said that!' Renji shot. 'He implied it!' Shiro shot back. 'You thought KFC implied that they Killed Fake Chickens and fed that to us instead of real chickens!' Hisagi pointed out.
\ "Ichhhhhiiiiii..." Shirosaki sang and nuzzled his orange hair. "Shut UP!" "Icchiiiiiii-gooooo…." "Agh! What Shirosaki!" The albino laughed and kissed his forehead. "I love ya Ichi." There was silence for a few seconds. "I love you too." He said, still kind of grouchy but unable to stay angry at the other man. "He he!" Shirosaki gave a little man-giggle and snuggled closer while Ichigo just sighed. Stupid crazy lover
"Oh boo-hoo Kon. Build a bridge and get over it." "Why should I build a bridge when you're probably gonna hide nuclear explosives under it and blow it up?"
\."Okay. So this guy is at a gas station, right? And he really needs to use the bathroom. But the line for the men's bathroom is too long. He notices that there is no line for the women's bathroom and asks the manager if he could go in there. The manager says yes, but don't press any buttons." "So the guy goes into the bathroom and gets onto the pot to take a crap, right? He sees these buttons to the left of him. He shrugs off what the manager said and presses the first button. Some water comes out of the toilet and rinses off his ass. He thinks, 'Oh…well, that was interesting. I wonder what the other buttons do.' So he presses the second button. Some powder comes up and pats his bum. He presses the third button, screams, and blacks out. Do you wanna know what happened? He wakes up two days later in the emergency room. He asks the nurse what happened to him and she says that he had pressed the button for the automatic tampon remover.
part three
part two
fairybaby added this comment 2011-10-29 03:22:58-05:00
ur gonna get real sick of this song hehe
fairybaby added this comment 2011-10-29 03:22:58-05:00
ur gonna get real sick of this song hehe