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lol in fanfiction pt.2
"Ok, the video is something called Baby Birth. For any of you that don't want to see babies being born or are too bored to watch it, feel free to pass out on your desks." "Um...sensei?" a student half raised his hand. "Yeah?" "Baby Birth isn't about having kids. It's about demons taking over the planet and some people that have to save it." "Damn, really?" he asked, looking at the back of the DVD case. Sure enough, that's what it was about. There was a moment's silence as Urahara tried to come up with a new plan. "Ok, time for plan B." Reaching into his desk, he pulled out two action figures. One was the Hulk, the other was Wonder Woman. Dear god he was going to act it out. Grimmjow looked on with horror as Urahara threw wonder woman onto the top of the desk and pushed the hulk between her legs "This is the first step," Urahara explained. "It's also the hardest. Girls always play hard to get. Just get her pants off then you're pretty much set." Urahara stopped to make sure he still had the class's attention "Then you whip out your-" He frowned down at the hulk for a moment, puzzled. "Well, apparently when you turn green your dick disappears" Grimmjow blinked, wondering if he could really say that on school grounds and if he'd be seeing his teacher the next day. "But let's just pretend. So once you've got the pants of and the dick out, be sure not to be too rough. It might scare her off. Then she'd tell everyone about your little encounter and you'd never get laid. Unless you raped someone, and that's frowned upon in our society." "So anyway, continuing on with our little adventure. For all you guys out there, I'm sure you already know the penis goes into the vagina. If you're sticking it anywhere else, you're doing it wrong and you shouldn't be having sex in the first place." As he continued their little sex adventure, he suddenly realized that not all couples would be a man and a woman. Even if the governor had said "I believe gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." "And now we move on to gay couples. For all you lesbians out there, I am not a woman and therefore cannot instruct you on sexual intercourse." "You just replace the dick with a dildo!" one of the girls in the back chimed in. "Well, then you can gather the girls in the back and teach them all about it. I on the other hand, will teach these vicious young men about gay sex." Needless to say, more than half the class was mortified by the rest of the lesson. I mean, sure they all knew about sex, and the also knew that there were gay and lesbian couples that had it too. But never did they think their teacher would act it all out. I mean come on, who wants to sit there and watch the Hulk and Captain America go at it for five minutes?
"Hey Shiro." "Yeah King?" "Let's go find Grimmjow there's something I've always wanted to do." "What is dat king?" "You'll see." And with that remark Ichigo went off to find Grimmjow; he soon found Grimmjow causing trouble in the Park. "Yo, Grimmjow." "Wanna fight Shinigami?" "No I wanted to do something else hold still." Ichigo was in front of Grimm before he could reply and bent down sticking his head through Grimm's hole. "WTF?" Grimmjow gapped at him. "Thanks." Ichigo was gone before Grimmjow could react. "" "" Both substitute Shinigami and his inner hollow laughed at the same time "King y'r crazy ya kn'w dat?"
part three
part one
