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Things to say to some random person you don't know calls: 1) "911, what is your emergency?" 2) "Domino's Pizza, may I take your order?" 3) *In your best southern drawl;)* Joe's Bar and Grill, Chrissy speakin'. Whatchya want?" 4) *Scream* "I HATE YOU!!!" *hang up quickly* 5) -If person asks for someone- "Yes, this is __ from LAPD. What is your need?" 6) -If person asks for someone- "Yes this is __... How'd you get my number?... STALKER!!! *click 7) "St. Mary's Hospital Mental Ward" - They should hang up purty quick;) 8) -If person asks for someone- "Yes this is __. What is your name? Oh, yes! Your order with Pike's Pickle Farm is ready.. 583 bread and butter barrels right? That will be $56,395.73. Will that be cash or credit? 9) Just MEEOWW at them nice and loud 10) "You are the millionth caller here at Best Buy. Come in to your local store to receive your free $100 gift card. Hurry, you only have one week to receive this offer, and it's only valid through - pick a nearby date- !! 11) Pretend to be Britney Spears - That'll make 'em end that phone call real fast. 12) *Breathe into the phone heavily and say..* I am your father!" - Thanks to mah cuz for that lovely shout out to Star Wars fans... o.O 13) Sing the Hokie Pokie or Jesus Loves You to them as soon as you answer 14) Lord of the Rings - "My precious!" - Cuz again...
What to Do When a Random Person Calls
15) Start debating some theory about dung beetles and kiwis. 16) Talk to the voices in your head. Don't forget to appologize and explain to whoever your talking to. 17) Start up a random conversation acting like your a little kid or just mental: "Hey what's your name?Whatchya been doin' all day? Ohh, sounds boring.. My favorite color is blue! What's yours? I like to jump rope. Jump, jump, jump all day long! Do you like to jump rope? Nah, I guess not 'cause your an adult and adults are boring. Why are adults so boring? My mommy says not to talk to strangers. Are you a stranger? Why are you talking to me?! Ahhh! MOMMY!!!" *hang up* -Make sure you don't give them time to reply during this one- 18) -If person asks for someone- "No this ain't __. But he/she did leave a message for you: He/She hates you and doesn't want you to call this number ever again. Bye!" 19) "Hey man, would you buy me a dryer? I just lost my job and my gf/bf cheated on me with my bro/sis and I think I'm gonna go shoot him/her so... Yeah do you know where I can find a shotgun? Ah, nevermind. I'm too depressed... Will you kill me?" 20) -If person asks for someone. Just pick a person you don't like and fill in the blanks- "Naw man, but they gave me their phone. They got a new one. I don't know the new number, but I know his/her gf/bf's number. *Ramble on til they demand the number* "Sheesh man, here." *Give them __'s number* "There, happy now?? Now tell that dang person to quit dating teens, dadgum cougar! It ain't healthy for old people."
Big thanks to my friend GT, Mom (yeah...), and mah cuz. Thanks y'all!
kw77 added this comment 2010-07-03 23:31:07-05:00
This is soo halarious and i plan on using all of these!! XD
kw77 added this comment 2010-07-03 23:31:07-05:00
This is soo halarious and i plan on using all of these!! XD