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Why does it hurt so bad sometimes? The things i'm feeling stay all bottled up inside me. It's unhealthy. I wanna just scream sometimes or cry, but it never comes. Not one drop of moisture leaves my eyes. Not one sound leaves my lips. Other people would love to be able to push everything away and act like nothing happened or to not be so emotional all the time. Well for me it's like a cures. I want it to STOP. I want to feel but when i feel i usually get hurt. Very few people have seen me open up. Most of them only see the happy side of me the side that doesn't take anything to heart and is always having a good time. But while that side is happy the other one isn't. The face I put on fools everyone but me. They think i'm so joyful. I on the other hand don't have a clue what to think. Opening up for me is getting to be like picking a needle out of hay. A long process that is al,most a waist of time. I've been hurt so many times. Guys are the most common it seems, because I fall for them and become volnerable. Then they crush me. I seem to be attracted to jerks, which isn't good. They act super sweet and nice at first and then they change. I wish life wasn't so complicated. That wishes actually came true and that happy endings weren't so rare. That good things happened and bad things didn't run a muck. But life isn't anything like that. Bad things happen to people no matter if they are good or not. Most people don't get that happy ending, but settle for a desent one. And wishes don't come true, at least not usually that's why I think people began to dream. Because dreams give people something to look forward to and hope that it will all work out in the end.
