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David's Autobiography
State to State, House to House. Isolation: In my entire life, I have lived in seven different states, and I have moved ten times. As a child I never had a problem with this. I slept without a care in the world. Then I started going to school. I made friends, then moved. I made new friends and then moved again, and again, and again. We repeated this process every year or two. Sometimes, we would only live in a state for six months. I began to stop trying. I gave up. My self confidence, self esteem, and happiness disappeared. It was as if I left myself in the previous state. Friends, who needed them, they would be just another heart ache. I hated good-byes. The overwhelming feeling of helplessness as I said good-bye, forever, to someone I barely became close to. It never stopped. Darker, the sun would appear. Hatred, started to take over my emotions. Isolation was the only answer that offered a me some closure.
The Navy Child Oldest Sibling: I am proud to say that I am the oldest child, atleast I'm proud today; years ago, I resented being born first. As the oldest child of a Navy family, I learned at an early age that I would be taking care of my siblings. My father was deployed months at a time, and my biological mother was absent throughout my life. We lived with many family members, and I, at the age of ten, had a checklist that i followed everyday for their happiness. First, wake up siblings, Second, make sure they receive a meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Third, protect them from anyone who may harm danger to them, mainly my biological mother, Fourth, help them with their homework and make sure their grades are good, Fifth, make sure they get to bed on time, Sixth, clean the house, and do chores so they wouldn't have to worry about it, Seventh, ensure they brushed their teeth, took showers, and are in bed by bedtime. Then the next day, we would repeat the entire process again, and again, and again. Living as the child-adult left me with no time for myself. Every thought that went through my mind and every action I performed revolved around my siblings. Then they became older, therefore I was needed less for the simple day to day tasks. Unfortunately as they grew older, they also grew more tempered and sassy. I joke around saying they are the reason why I have some gray hairs, but its actually not a joke. They stressed me out; it was way too much stress for a child to have at an early age.
The Missing Part of My Life The Hole in My Heart A Mother: Before I could pronounce the word ''divorced,'' I was being put throught it. It started when my father was deployed. My youngest sibling was just born. He couldn't have been more then five months old. My biological mother was addicted to drugs and alcohol. She knew that I was becoming older and soon I would figure out a way to get my father to help us. Her solution to the problem, me, was to drop me off at my grandmothers in Florida, while she escaped to Texas with my siblings. A few months after our seperation, my father came home and found an empty house. Luckily he found me, but getting my siblings wasn't easy at all. It took four years of praying and patience until we finally were reunited. I was so excited to finally be a family again. I loved my family, but I wasn't genuinely happy. I needed the affection from a mother. My biological mother was never there from ages three to today. She showed up every once in a while, only to cause pain and misery. My darkest memory of my biological mother made me hate Mothersday. I sat in school, crying, every year, wishing I had a mother to give a gift to; I wanted to be able to say I Love You, but i never had that chance.
The Way to Escape Runnning: I needed my own space. I had to make up for all the years of alone time I missed, looking after my brothers and sisters. I couldn't find a way to release all this built up anger and frustration. I tried boxing, but it wasn't for me. I tried poetry, but I wouldn't and couldn't let anyone read it. Then I discovered running. In some way, it was the only way for me to release pain, by enduring it. I started running to get away. It was my escape. I could run for hours and not care. I didn't have to worry about my siblings, about my father, my absent mother, my broken heart, all the misery i have endured; it all just went away. Without running, I would most likely have found worse, more life threatening ways to get rid of the pain that I was feeling in my heart.
My Darkest Memory Taxi-Cab: My absent biological mother was never around in my childhood. She would pop up every once in a while to hurt my family even more. I couldn't stand her. For years I hated her without even knowing her. She was the reason why I had so much stress, misery, and hurt in my life. One day she came to our house. Four years after I haven't seen her. My father and biological mother were discussing arrangements to give her another chance to live with us. We slowly gained her trust, but only for her to ruin it. When my father came home from work, my mother told him she would take us to the park about 5 minutes away from where we lived. We walked and talked and became closer. Then out of the blue, a cab came out of no where. She told us to get in. At first we walked towards it, but then I said don't. Can we go home. I learned quickly she wasnt taking no for an answer. She grabbed my younger siblings and tried to kidnap them. It was only us 4 in an empty parking lot near the park. I fought, pulled, punched, kicked, screamed, cried, slapped, elbowed, pulled; I did everything to get them back until I told her Get the hell away from us. You will never be our mother. You are the reason why I hate mothers day. Youre the reason why I hate myself. I hate YOU. After that, she loosened her grasp on my siblings, got in the cab, and drove away. I never have seen her since that day and i never plan to again. If it wasnt for that day, she might have come back and caused more pain to us. I still hear the my words echoing through the walls of my house
