The Office

grumblepuff

,United States

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Stanley: I'll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again. Dwight: What's the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks? Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

There were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you.

I was just...um...I'm in love with you. I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing. I know that, I just -- I just needed you to know...once.

Oh young Jim. There's just so much I need to warn you about. And yet, tragically, I cannot.

I am going to propose tonight. Holy crap!

Hey Pam, will you... wait for me one second while I tie my shoe?

I am not kidding. [checks to make sure no one is looking, then opens ring box] Got it a week after we started dating.

Pam Beesly: Okay, well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means instead of what it is. Dwight Schrute: You mean... like a ham? Pam Beesly: [pause] No, not like a ham.

I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left I took a box of Dwight's stationary. So, from time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. 'Dwight, at eight a.m. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, future Dwight.'