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My name's Holden Caulfield. There's not much to say about me. I can't stand phonies, and if there's one thing I hate it's the movies. Hollywood turned my brother into a goddamned prostitute, if you want to know the truth. I've got a little sister, Phoebe. She's so sharp, it just about kills me. To tell you the truth, I never really discuss my personal life. I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. I've been to a few schools, and I never really enjoyed any of them. They're all full of mostly phonies anyway. It makes me so goddamned depressed just thinking about all the crap I put up with there. But then again, I'm a bit yellow and wouldn't have done much about it anyway. I suppose I've made a few friends from all this, like Stradlater and Ackley, but we're not all that close. Mr. Spencer's pretty nice, except for when he made me listen to that note I'd left him. Sally Hayes is pretty decent, but she gives me a royal pain in the ass, if you want to know the truth. Good old Jane Gallagher, now she's a great girl. I know old Jane like a book, like a book I tell you. I'm a pretty heavy smoker, and I drink time to time. I like to spend time with my siblings, like going to the zoo or museum and stuff. I used to have a brother named Allie, but he died and my mom is still not over it. My brother D.B. lives in Hollywood as a writer, but as I said, he's sold himself. I'm not a big fan of going to shows, as most of them are phony as hell and not too entertaining. Plus most of the people who show up at these things are obnoxious as hell, walking around with their heads held high as if they're better than everyone else. Now I'm in this goddamned place with all these goddamned psychoanalysts asking me if I'm going to apply myself when I go back to school. That's about it.
