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My christian name is Ruth Taylor I was born to Ruth Lanie and Boyd James in 1993 It was about 14 months after my birth that my sister, Shelby Anne, was born I barely remember when we were happy I was four when my dad left He chose his drinking over his family After about a year I believe we were normal All except mom of course She wasn't normal until Gary came around I was seven Gary seemed okay to me He was like a kid himself Maybe too much like a kid in some ways
He napped during the day when he was supposed to watch my sister and me I can't begin to tell how many times we came close to death because he neglected us Yet my mom brushed everything off She constantly made excuses for him And all this just began my story In school, I was never very popular I was quiet and smart and kind The only friends I ever made made a habit of stepping all over me But I would never stop forgiving them Even now I don't fault them for what they did
Maddy was the first culprit She was my best friend in 1st grade She was the one who taught me I could get away with just about anything Until I met her, I was content to do what I was told and be happy Sometimes ignorance is bliss But Madison argued with her parents and cussed (I know it's a six year old!) She knew about sex and other things I wouldn't have known about for years if she had kept quiet I was so interested in learning the 'secrets' she knew, I didn't care that she expiremented with me We were best friends through 4nd grade And as the years went by, her knowlege grew She would brag about dirty music videos and porn and other
We were best friends through 4nd grade And as the years went by, her knowlege grew She would brag about dirty music videos and porn and other things she watched constantly When we were smaller, we took baths together It was innocent until 4th grade, when she wanted to try something she saw in one of her videos I was her guinea pig I just sat still while she violated me for over an hour until her mom yelled at us to go to bed Needless to say, I never talked to her again Jess replaced her I needed some one to help me get back to normal, and Jess seemed perfect We were friends for a whole eight months She invited me over and I was happy that I had a friend who cared about me finally But then she started to ditch me because she thought I wasn't kewl enough for her She moved and I didn't hear from her until a few years later Later that year, I became friends with my olf classmate, Sadie Sadie was cute and funny and hyper We got along fine We liked the same people, the same music, a laughed at stupid things no one else thought was funny We stayed friends through the summer, and in 5th grade two other joined our group
One was drama queen Kady, the other was tom-boy Lydia Somehow, our group turned into some cliche clique, kiddie style Kady was our 'queen' and we ruled the school Eventually, each of us got tired of the way Kady acted, and we decided to quit being her lap-dogs Lydia was the first to turn on us She stayed with Kady to tell her everything we planned to do Of course we never planned anything to humiliate her Sadie wanted to, but I didn't want to hurt Kady at all, just take away her power Eventually, Sadie turned on me too She said it was because she always liked Kady and couldn't believe how mean I was I was left alone, and the target of everyone's criticism I was depressed, and close to suicide. But then I met Hannah She stayed my best friend for three and a half years She seemed like an angel I couldn't get mad at her and I could talk to her for hours about absolutely nothing We were perfect friends Then Charlene became our friend She was jealous of how close were, so she became our friend, only to try and tear us apart Luckily, we straightened everything out and quit hanging with her A few years after the Charlene incident, we met Sanders He was so cute and funny We were inseperable as a trio
Haley and Sanders started dating after that I was jealous of their relationship, so I made a point to break them up I started dating him, but I was gui;lty about it I cried every night I was foolish to believe that liked me, and after a few weeks he left me for another girl Haley still doesn't know what I did After Sanders dumped her she was distraught She turned to me, but we fought almost constantly after he left Then she started avoiding me and ditching me for other people Maybe it was my punishment for breaking the first real relationship she had Who knows, but we started falling apart It was only then that I realized I loved her I always knew she was the most important thing to me, but never that I truly loved her And that made leaving her worse Eveytime she ditched me, it broke me up more and more Finally, we broke contact I don't think I'll ever love anyone again, and I try not to In the past few years I've taken to alcohol and smoking and other vices to forget how broken I am but everytime I open my eyes I see something she left behind I chang the name I go by yearly, thinking maybe I can leave unhappiness behind with my name I don't think it will ever work, but we do what we can And now it's happening again. I know I will be hurt, but I can't help hoping that maybe this person deserves my forgiveness and we will eventually be happy.
things she watched constantly When we were smaller, we took baths together It was innocent until 4th grade, when she wanted to try something she saw in one of her videos I was her guinea pig