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The words escape me. I want to write away the pain I feel inside and yet I can't. It seems as if the turmoil I feel inside is meant to be kept there to haunt me and taunt me and make me hate myself. I never seem to be good enough even for myself. Every decision I make leads to misery, every thought to self disgust. It sometimes doesn't seem worth the time or the thought and yet its all I ever think about. It hurts me to know that after all the crap we've been through, I still love you more than you can ever love me.