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I just keep hoping that something will happen. that I will feel something. I sit in the chapel. I stare at the red lit candle. I sit and listen. I beg myself not to dig into my leg. I hold my hands still and I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. I watch as time goes by and the sun begins to fade behind the giant glass windows. I listen to the ticking and tocking of the school clock keeping time in the back far behind me. I trace the outlines of the designs on the walls with my eyes. I wait. I listen. I hope. that something will happen. that I something will change. that one of these days I will have a thought. of what I am doing. of what is to change. but nothing happens. what that red lit candle once held for me, no longer is. it means nothing but lighting up that one corner of that chapel. will anything ever change? i am losing my faith. i know
there is some one higher than me. someone who, besides my parents, made me. someone is watching me. but who says that he had a son? the roman catholics do. they think they are better than every one else. they will not see the other religions' views. such arrogant fools. the red lit candle holds nothing for me anymore. but what I want is clear within me. to sit in the 7th row with the one I love.
