andrew7d
added this comment
2009-06-03 04:06:20-05:00
a bi tmore writing not much info andrew
kyle1997
added this comment
2009-06-02 22:34:34-05:00
You have not included much but good work.
To improve you should say "I study at Island School" instead of "I go to school atIsland school"
lachieok7d
added this comment
2009-06-02 22:06:02-05:00
nice work jon
good review
a thing you could work on is your summary. you need a little more writing and i thiunk it would be good. remember to tag it :D
yejee
added this comment
2009-06-09 21:51:11-05:00
it's nice work of writing, but i guess it's too plain...
yejee
andrew7d added this comment 2009-06-03 04:06:20-05:00
a bi tmore writing not much info andrew
kyle1997 added this comment 2009-06-02 22:34:34-05:00
You have not included much but good work. To improve you should say "I study at Island School" instead of "I go to school atIsland school"
lachieok7d added this comment 2009-06-02 22:06:02-05:00
nice work jon good review a thing you could work on is your summary. you need a little more writing and i thiunk it would be good. remember to tag it :D
yejee added this comment 2009-06-09 21:51:11-05:00
it's nice work of writing, but i guess it's too plain... yejee