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Jack keeps looking over at me across the room. What the hell? He's the one who screwed things up and lied to me about having feelings for me and made it all that more complicated. If he had just been straight with me I wouldn't be the pissed off pyshcomaniac female that I am whenever I see his face. He thinks hes such a player, does he? He thinks he can date one girl named Juliet, then tell another Juliet (me) that he likes her and will go out with her, just to toy with her emotions, see how she reacts. Well I say, fuck you Jack. Go to hell and take your black, evil heart with you. I don't know why I was so hung up on a younger boy. I don't know why I spent a year pining. I don't know why I fell in love with you. I know its not your brown eyes and your tan skin and your raven hair. You didn't even care when my mom was in the fucking hospital, so, i say once more with great pleasure I AM OVER YOU, WITH NO IDEA HOW I LET MYSELF GET SO FAR GONE!!! ....Or maybe I'm not. Is the real reason my heart beats faster and my throat close up when I see you left over love, not anger? When I feel that need to get away from you, that fear of being near you, is that because my feelings still remain? What you did is inexcusable... so why am I excusing you? Its not like I can control it. The heart wants what the heart wants. But... I thought my heart didn't want you. I knew it didn't. Of course... then I SAW you again. You came back into my life like a flaming super nova, making my newly stable world explode all over again. How can I ever see another way when you shine like that, captivating me and pulling me in, giving me no escape? Tell me, how? The second I can get away, the second I am able to stop loving you, I will. Or, rather, I SHOULD . But, baby, loving you just feels so right. So natural. I've done it for so long, I cant remember what it was like NOT loving you. But, I cant remember a time when you weren't hurting me either... So, do the risks outweigh the benifits? Is loving you worth this pain?
