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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes
