Juno

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Rollo: So what's the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus? Juno MacGuff: There it is. The little pink plus sign is so unholy. [shakes pregnancy tester] Rollo: That ain't no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet.

Juno

Juno : Wise move. I know this girl who had a huge crazy freakout because she took too many behavioral meds at once. She took off her clothes and jumped into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and she was like, Blaaaaah! I'm a kraken from the sea! Su-Chin: I heard that was you. Juno: Well, it was nice seeing you.

Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are. Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Bren: When you move out I'm getting two weimaraners! Juno MacGuff: WOAH DREAM BIG! Bren: Oh, go fly a kite!

Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

Rollo: Well, well... If it isn't MacGuff the crime dog! Back for another test? Juno MacGuff: I think the last one was defective. The plus sign looked more like a division sign. I remain unconvinced. [Rollo pulls the bathroom key out of reach] Rollo: This is your third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.