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For those of you out there reading my blog, ones that have older siblings of the same gender! As a younger sibling have you ever wondered, since you were little, why your sister or brother were so mean to you?That one day you hope they can treat you like they treat their friends! You wish they can some day tell you a secret which they can confide in you, with. Or that both of you can laugh and talk at the same time, while looking at each other and mean it. That some day your older sibling can treat you with meaning and maybe even with respect as a human being with feelings, as a friend, and as blood. I know as a younger sibling I was known as a "tattle-tale". I hadn't known otherwise. That's the way my parents taught had taught me. But I wasn't always a snitch. At one point in my life my sister had continuously told me secrets that seemed like a compromise of trust. But as I analyzed, as I felt something empty in those secrets, something wrong....It was then when I knew the different ways my sister would talk, her emotions, her gestures, everything... I knew it was different, but I just never wanted to realize it. As if I was just her pet-pee, her shadow, just a person that would be there when no one else would. I admired my sister greatly. I looked up to her, not only for her height but for who she was to me. I knew her friends would come and go some have even stayed. But fortunately I would always be here.... It was then when I realized why my sister's reactions of what I thought were her "compromised trust" was just my parents telling my sister to talk to me, be nice, play with me, and all other typical things big sisters were suppose to do... It never really happened, that way the talking was there just because no one else would listen when she wanted someone to. So after a short period of time, noticing my sister's behavior I figured why would she need me? I was so hurt when I finally known this. It was then when I went on telling my parents things. I thought some how it would bring us closer, since not telling didn't really help, she still hardly talked to me or anything. Nothing worked. I was about 8. As a little girl having only one sister, I always wanted to be like her (to a certain extent). She was my idol. Don't get me wrong we did have some kind of relationship, what ever that may be, we had one... As life went on, as both of us grew older and understood life or begin to understand it. We grew closer. We never really talked about our past, we just left it there. I don't really know how our relationship changed or really when it did. But I'm just glad it did......... Epilogue: If some of you have good, great or even ok relationships with your older sibling that's good, damn it's even great. But those of you who are similar to mine or worse, I think time and patient..(not to much commitment) would really help. Time may not be for everyone but just try to believe, it might work.
