Dead or Alive

mikimoodle

,Australia

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No one wants me; Dead or Alive

Her eyes are of blue infinity in the darkness. They’ve become the windows to the stories that her lips could never tell, and beyond their royal blue depth they are the caskets for her vacant soul that is burning with everything she is. She is not the girl she used to be. A thousand crystals glitter against the floor, all too shattered to be put back together again, I am not sure if these crystals are the remaints of my bathroom mirror, or pieces of myself. I’m going to shoot on five. No, three. I’m going to shoot on three. I begin counting the seconds. “One.” My eyes are squeezed shut. I can hear my pulse. I will always remember the adrenaline rush, the blood pulsing through my veins like a wild animal trapped in a cage. “Two.” I wonder if I should leave a letter like they do in the movies, the classic telling of how sorry I am, convincing them it’s not their fault, and of course giving them an explanation to my reason for leaving this way. But I am sure I won’t have the slightest clue of what to say. There are no words fitting enough to explain myself. Perhaps “deserving” would suffice. I deserve this. “Three.” That’s when I pull the trigger back and surrender. I wait. For the noise. For the pain. But I feel nothing. It takes me a minute to comprehend that I am still breathing. I wait for something, Im not sure if it’s the tears or something else, but I find myself still waiting. I remember the gun was on safety. I cant do this.

So this is probably one of the shortest stories I have ever written, I was intending for it to be about 7x as long, but I dont want to write it anymore. If you like it, check out some of my other stories on here :) The song playing is "Rain" by Breaking Benjamin however I did want to use "Breathe me" By Sia. Youtube it!