Julien, thank you so much for being there for me through all of this. I know I say I hate how protective you are or get but I really don't. It shows you care and I'm grateful for having such a friend as you. He hurt me he really did. But just because that happened doesn't mean I need to stop talking to him all together. It doesn't mean I can't still say "hi" to him if we run into each other. He was or still is my first love. I know I have to get over that but; I can't just drop all communication from him. That would probably hurt a hell of a lot more than what he did. I know what you're saying, I understand why you say it. I just, I just need some time to figure all of this out...

You are so much. Beautiful, really. I hated to see you in such a state, I hated him for the moment as did you. He made you feel special, wanted. Yet, he still found a way to break that connection. If anything it's a sign painted a crimson black on red, saying he's not worthy of you trust. I constantly wish the past could make me feel again, feel the love I once felt. But I know it would end the way it had before. Which it did, multiple times... Your perfectly imperfect, still beautiful in many ways. Just ask if your willing to have that happen again, it's an extremely relevant question, because he sowed you who he was. Take it to heart; that's up to you.

some deep words. <3