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cant even cry right now. even that feels wrong. who am i crying for. i dont deserve those tears. i know im evil i know im wrong. whats the point of being a woman anyway. living for others. tied down to the rules i wish i was a free man. nobody could stop me. i would go all over the world and fall in love a hundred times. and break a hundred hearts, im so numb right now. i cant even feel pain. i just want to meet someone and drown in him get away from everyone. meet a stranger on the tube tell him my secrets, let him hold them becuase im tierd of keeping them all its so hard i want to tell everyone everything. i cant keep lying anymore. this is me. this is what ive done just let everthing fall where it does ive never been a good daughter, wife, sister so what difference does it make? i cant keep anyone happy anyway. i will think this through some more
