Prolouge -

pandalover

,United States

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Prolouge

Hearing the news struck me such with such pain that was unknown to me before. It was worse then loosing your first and favorite colored crayon as a young toddler. It was worse then learning your best friend since you could remember was moving away when you were a child. It was worse then having your heart broken for the first time as a teenager. It was a pain that is indescribable. For this pain does not manifest its self into the physical being, but the mental self. It is something that only you and you alone can understand.

Some of that day is forever seared into my memory, as other parts of it are vague and fuzzy. I can recall ever detail of one moment like I was only there yesterday and not there many years before the present now.

The sky was the dull depressing color of winter gray. The ground was covered in a layer of red snow, a sign that innocence was quickly disappearing into the dark of night. Death hung in the air threatening to crush me beneath its weight. Yellow tape blocked my path to the place I wanted to be. Men dressed in blue walked all around my frozen body. The body of two lovers arm in arm lying in the blood tainted snow was the worst of the scene. Their faces a mixture of relief, of being rid of their miseries, and horror was eerie. The cold pain filled scream of regret and hatred that pierced my ears and flew out of my mouth as my eyes laid transfixed on the two lovers is a sound that haunts every persons dreams that heard it. Warm and strong arms wrapping around the small fragile frame of the 14 year old me kept the unconscious feet from running over to the two people.

The news hadn’t sunk in until that blood curdling scream came out of my mouth. They, the men in blue, needed me to identify if indeed that those two were my parents. The scream was enough of a yes for them

Moments that followed were nothing more then a fuzzy blur of horrid nightmare already forgotten. The part I do remember is being in a car and then in a room. Tears stained my face and palms of my shaky hands. One question after another flew out of the kind faced men in blue. Hours, or so I believe, went by in that fashion. Then, I stood in my room packing things in boxes. Days later a funeral for the two lovers and then placed in a new “home”. That’s what my aunt and uncle called it, “home”, really it could have never been home.

~Author Notes: This is a work of fiction. None of this has happened to me or anyone I know. Any similarities to anyone's life or any names that re the same is pure coincidence.~

Ten years have passes since that unhappy day and I’m now 24. This is my story of bad choices and how that day had effected for neither the best nor the worst. It’s a story of a teens struggle with life and some very unwise choices.