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Arkham Prophet
Monday | April 14, 2008 | $1.25
Arkham Prophet reporters mourn the loss of Editor-in-Chief of the Arkham Prophet, Velma Smith, who died Friday. It brought the revelation of her secret identity, school gossip columnist, Miss Moffet. Found on her body after her death at Friday's school prom, was the rough draft of what is now known as her final column. More on Page 2.
Miss Moffet un-Masked!
Page 1
Post-Prom Edition
Rescue workers arriving at the conclusion of Arkham's 2008 Prom found double digit dead and bits of sushi littering the school. Witnesses claim it the work of an ancint Agyptian God. Others say they saw a tentacle monster straight from the pages of hentai octopus porn. Principal Skinner could not be reached for comment, but his office has issued the following statement: "Arkham High is racked with grief after gang violence broke out during the 2008 Prom Friday night. We are in the middle of an investigation, and are hearts and sympathies are with the innocent who fell victim to the disease of sprawling urbanism." More on Page 3.
Chaos at the Prom!
All prom attendants took a moment of silence Friay night to honor world pieace in the middle of the prom. For those who missed it, a second moment was held shortly afterwards. More on Page 4.
Arkham High Holds Moment of Silence
Giles-Skinner Fued!
Prom Turns into Naked Rave!
A dozen students and teachers got naked and danced at Arkham's prom, perhaps related to the bits of crumbs located around the building. Initial substance reports shows resemblance to dog food. More on Page 4.
Student investigations reveal that Professor Giles and Principal Skinner were classmates here at Arkham High many years ago. And it looks as if Principal Skinner will never forget that! For an inside look at his yearbook, check out Page 4!
Bonus Interview with Wyld Stallyn and their quest for World Peace Page 3