xbestfriend_ana

rayneclowd

,United States

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today i had a seziur walking to my first theater class. electroyletes or something. just ten more pounds and i'll be at STG (95). i hope i loose the weight soon so i can be pretty again. oh and off meds so diet'll work.

intake today: 2 grams of yay. yeah, i started it to help with the headaches and the weakness.... five more pounds until my new goal, 80.

i died today. half a speed ball in my system, some alcohol and no food for three days. the cops say i'm lucky to wake up after the crash, to be alive at all, even if barely. they weighed me. 72 pounds...my mom won't stop crying...but i'm alive...everything is OK.

i lived in lies for way to long finding my beauty in my distruction cut off and cast out i became all that was perfection only to realize that people were no longer smiling instead they were all crying as i lost my soul to obsession i may never be cured of this warped idea of perfection but i can say today that people smile at my name and no longer cry at a 68 pound frame even when i stumble and forget what happened i never want to relieve this never wish upon anyone what happened perfection exists only in the minds of the decieved and for right now, i'm ok FOR REAL and healthy

slave screams he thinks he knows what he wants slave screams he thinks he has something to say slave screams he hears but doesn't want to listen slave screams he's being beaten into submission don't open your eyes you won't like what you see the devils of truth steal the souls of the free don't open your eyes take it from me i have found you can find happiness in slavery slave screams he spends his life learning conformity slave screams he claims he has his own identity slave screams he's going to cause the system to fall slave screams but he's glad to be chained to that wall don't open your eyes you won't like what you see the blind have been blessed with security don't open your eyes take it from me i have found you can find happiness in slavery i don't know what i am i don't know where i've been human junk just words and so much skin stick my hands thru the cage of this endless routine just some flesh caught in this big broken machine