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I see now you are still the same. I see now you haven’t changed. I see I was mistaken. I see you were uninvested, estranged, unknowing. I see you clearly. I see you lied. I see it was unintentional. I see what I cannot hide, where this is going. You thought you were honest with me. You saw us as one thing, I another. You tried to be blunt in a kind way. You realized I was hurt. You were unable to comprehend the problem. You see now what I meant? I’m sorry that I asked more of you then you had to give. I’m sorry I asked you to have a life you never lived. I’m sorry we were more to me than I’ll ever be to you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see what now is clearly true.
Pillow Fanatic. The fluff coats each room, hiding the angels, the edges, the ends. Walk in and WHAO! Who the HELL (?) needs so many? so much? I do. I need the soft and the sweet. I do. I want the shallow comfort. I do. I am alone in my maze. Leave me, begrudge me, my comfort. my escape. my mountains. valleys. hills. holes “What goes on in there?” You really want to know? Honestly? Truly? I hug the masses to me. I sit in the center. I surround myself and pretend that friends (ha. wrong word.) are as loyal as mascara stained pillows.
Salted Eyes They’re black like the Dead Sea. They’re cold like the North Wind. They’re surrounded by crystals. They’re crumbling away. They’re suspended in time. They’re hard without joy. They’re the most perfect things I’ve ever seen. They’re different at night, when she wakes. Then, they’re the mountains, upon which melting snow sits. Then, they’re the axis from which white water runs. Then, they’re the beginning of the journey. Then, they’re the only emotion she shows. In the night she wakes up and finds paths of white jewels running from her glimmering perfection all the way down to her awkward endings.
I’m Sorry I thought that this was it, perfection. I thought that we were free. I thought there was no lust, no secrets. I thought you understood me, inside and out. I thought that you were changing. I thought that this was new. I thought it was disturbing. I thought, “This can’t be you” I allowed doubt. I saw you acting selfish. I saw you through a fog sometimes. I saw unknown things inside you. I saw what I knew to be crimes, but it was all you. I saw you being immature. I saw you pull away. I saw that nothing held you. I saw my friend refuse to stay, and in that you were true. I tried to talk us through it. I tried to see a cause. I tried without hope of success. I tried still without a pause, o no avail.
I tried thinking through what happened. I tried thinking of who you were now. I tried looking for some logic. I tried to answer “why?” or “how?” in that too I fail. I realized I was stupid. I realized I what never saw. I realized that there was no change. I realized the missing flaw, you’d chosen again. I realized you had moved along. I realized you wanted more. I realized I couldn’t give you enough. I realized you didn’t adore me even as a friend. I was an excuse for you. I was an answer to you lust. I was nothing but a female I was seeing the lack of trust first sighting, but had always been. I was a puppet to cuddle with. I was a thing of no great cost. I was making believe the entire time. I was under the impression, now lost, I was more than skin.
Jenna Dance away from it all For it can’t make you fall. But if caught in its hold, When its feeling quite bold, You can’t muster an inch, For your foot’s in a cinch To keep you stone still, As it readies its kill. So turn swiftly around Don’t make even a sound You’ll be here ‘til you die And in dusk you will lie.
Kali Goddess of Darkness Come, won’t you please? Carry away Joy! Commandeer Beauty! Obliterate the Sun! Keep everything for yourself. ‘Cause no one here deserves it.
Normal? Average. Maria! Grace us, We want you near We want you with us. So skinny, You can afford not to eat. So tan You can pay for Hawaiian flights. You are So Beautiful, So manufactured So damn exaggerated. We want you around But you want us too. For Beauty looks better When next to her Beasts.
