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the Best of chuck Norris
1. The Native American " Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere Chuck Norris walks. 2. Who let the dogs out? Chuck did.... then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile. 3. As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge 4. Little Miss Muffet, sat on her Tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier. 5. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he knocks one down & the other 9 faint. 6. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. 7. Chuck Norris never an Academy Award for acting.... because he's not acting. 8. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. He uses that to make a bullet. Then he uses the bullet to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some refer to this as the "Circle of Life". 9. The truth will set you free. Unless the truth is Chuck Norris which, in that case, you're screwed buddy! 10. When urinating, Chuck Norris is capable of welding titanium lightning rods. 11. A old blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied,"Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured the man's blindness. Sadly, the first, last, and only thing this man saw was a fatal round- house kick. 12. "Brokeback Mountain" isn't just a movie. It's what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard. 13. A Norris delivered roundhouse kick is the prefered method of execution in 16 states. 14. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up when he drinks too much...... HE THROWS DOWN!!! 15. Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba is the military codeword for Chuck Norris' basement. 16. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares at them til he gets the information he freakin wants.
