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Not Like Paris Hilton
This is Dunlop. Dunlop is not the sort of cat that Paris Hilton would carry about in her Gucci purse. Because Dunlop has a problem with his bladder. Last week, he did a wee on my Wii. I thought that was sort of cool
My name is Christine, and for 28 years I have lived a life entirely unlike that of heiress, model, actor, singer and entrepeneur, Paris Hilton. It's not because I'm poor (even though I am)... It's not because I'm ugly (because my Mam says I'm not)... ...It's because I consistently manage to look like a silly tit without trying. Today I dropped a tray full of glass beakers in front of a year 7 science class. This was a typical day.
I'm wearing two t-shirts and a dressing gown: watching Never Mind The Buzzcocks with my boyfriend and two cats (one scabby one regular). It's cold in here - the radiator is broken, so I won't put the heating on. I'm not heating the rest of the house when I'm not in it. Having said that, we're all having a lovely time.
David: The Grumpiest Cat in the World. Hardly surprising, really... Her belly is bald, and she's allergic to everything. She never goes out, but when she does, she always gets into a fight. The neighbour's cats tell stories about her in hushed voices, on dark and stormy nights. If she only had one eye, you wouldn't be surprised.
Dramatis Personae
