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Derek, I have no idea if you'll read this let alone care...but i want you to know that i never tired to hurt you. you're everything i could have ever asked for in a guy and i can't see myself being happier with anyone else in the whole world. i really can't even explain to you all this because honestly i just don't even understand myself. I know if i was smart i should have just said goodbye way back last summer, but i knew there was something. From the day you first kissed me in late Septemeber, i knew...i just needed to show you. I know i haven't always been the most understanding or the most trusting individual but i do try to be a better person just hoping that one day i might actually become one in the process. Jesse is my version of Laura. Honestly i already know this wont last. I never lied about it, i mean his first kiss was that day at lunch and he and i before had just talked a lot about how he didn't want a serious relationship and how i wasn't for anything like that either. We started texting a lot and he admitted he's had a crush on me for a month or so now. That's the honest truth. I know you and from all my experience with you, if we were to get back togather now you'd find some other way to have to break up with me in a month, or two or three. It's not a bad thing, i understand. It's a serious relationship and you're afraid. It doesn't make you a terrible person it makes you human. Just know that no matter what happens i'll never forget you or lose the feelings i have for you. I just hope for the same in return. People say you never really move on from you're first true love and i never really agreed with that until now. i love you Derek Alan Giudici...with all my heart.
I want you to know i'll never in my life forget you. I care about you so much, you don't understand. More than i could ever mean to you. The past 4 months have been the happiest in my life...and because i don't have the courage to tell you in person, i've made you this. I hope now you'll understand.You're amazing and i love you so much. You still have my heart and you always will...
most talk of the memories. the good, the bad. i look toward all those to be made, with him, and me...togather. The days we will just sit and talk for hours and hours. Then endless nights when we just sit silent and feel safe with one another. The times when we will hold eachother close and just whipe away every other care in the world. The laughs we will share as we realize how enamored we really and truly are. When we stare into eachother's eyes for forever and ever and see how right this really is. Once i finally tell you that i truly, deeply, and honestly love you. -November 21, 2007
If my life were a novel i would pray that this be a new start, not an end to something so wonderful. I realize that not every chapter will be perfect, but how will this one afftect the next? I know there is only one way to fix what is ruined and that is to tell you how i feel. This is one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. But here i go. I may ruin everything just to risk getting back the love that may have died. I have to be strong, i have to be brave, and most importantly i can't let you see me fill the pages of this book with tears of a previous page. I turn the page when i am strong, to forget the past, to erase the memories, to start anew and keep reading on. -July 29, 2007
buubs added this comment 2008-06-03 17:28:55-05:00
Cuuute!!!
shortypoo added this comment 2008-06-07 23:20:06-05:00
aww honey this is the sweetie thing
buubs added this comment 2008-06-03 17:28:55-05:00
Cuuute!!!
shortypoo added this comment 2008-06-07 23:20:06-05:00
aww honey this is the sweetie thing